Funny voicemail greetings for work

What a work greeting needs

1. Who they’ve reached. Your name, or the team’s.
2. What to leave. Name, number, and the one detail you’ll need, like an invoice number.
3. When you’ll call back. Today, or within one working day.
4. A faster way. A text, an email or a colleague, for anyone who won’t wait.

Keep it short. A joke fits before the useful part, never in place of it, the same rule an out of office message follows.

Funny or professional

Clients and strangers hear your greeting too. The desk phone gets the plain one, and the joke goes on the line your team calls. A greeting that sounds like your email sign-offs sounds like you, which is the point of recording your own.

On the day you’re out sick, a separate greeting saying so saves the caller from leaving a message nobody hears. If you’re away for a week, the greeting is the phone’s version of an OOO reply.

Unknown numbers ring out

Only 14% of people pick up an unknown number straight away. 41% let it ring and wait to see whether a voicemail arrives, and 28% reject it on sight. For most strangers, then, your greeting is the first thing they hear from you.

In one US survey, 61% let calls go to voicemail often or always, and 47% screen calls even from people they know, coworkers included. 46% had been told they were hard to reach in the past year.

Younger callers text back

In the UK, 23% of 18 to 34 year olds say they never answer voice calls. 37% of 18 to 24 year olds would rather get a voice message than a call, against 1% of 35 to 54 year olds. 56% of 18 to 34 year olds assume a surprise call from family or friends means bad news.

27% of Gen Z let a call go to voicemail and then text back, against 7% of boomers. A greeting that says text me is just describing what happens anyway.

On an iPhone

Open the Phone app, go to Voicemail and tap Greeting, then choose Custom and tap Record. In the newer layout of the Phone app, it’s under Edit, then Edit Voicemail Greeting. Recording a greeting depends on your carrier, and some don’t support it.

On Android

Most Android phones set the greeting through the carrier: open the dialpad, touch and hold 1, and follow the voicemail menu to record a greeting. Samsung Galaxy phones work the same way. On a Pixel 6 or later, Take a Message in the Phone app’s settings also answers missed calls with a custom greeting of up to 60 seconds.

In Microsoft Teams

Go to Settings and more, then Settings, Calls and Manage voicemail, and choose Record a greeting. Teams can also read out a greeting you type, though a recorded one takes over from it. There’s a separate out-of-office greeting, so callers hear you’re away while your out of office is on.

In Google Voice

Open Settings, then Voicemail, and choose Record a greeting. You can keep up to 10 and switch the active one, so the holiday greeting can wait in the list until December.