LinkedIn speak translator

Job news

• Excited for my next chapter I left, or I was let go
• Open to work unemployed
• Impacted by the recent restructuring laid off
• Exploring new opportunities looking for a job
• Taking some time to recharge between jobs
• Open to conversations with mission-driven teams applying for anything
• Some personal news news about me
• Has come to an end is over
• Betting on myself quitting without a plan
• Rejection is redirection I didn't get it
• Grateful for the learning opportunity annoyed it went badly
• Leveraging my network asking friends for a job
• Celebrating my work anniversary posting because LinkedIn reminded me
• Congrats on the work anniversary I clicked the suggested reply for someone I met once

Announcements

• Thrilled to announce I can confirm
• Humbled to share proud
• I don't usually post about myself, but here is a post about myself:
• Honored to be named I'm on a list as
• I had the pleasure of meeting I stood near
• We are proud to support we paid to put our logo on a banner for
• Proud of the team for shipping I'm taking some of the credit for
• Excited to share our latest thought piece we wrote a blog post
• A testament to my commitment to lifelong learning proof I paid for a course
• Challenged my thinking talked while I checked my email

Engagement bait

• Agree? please comment so this travels.
• Thoughts? please comment.
• Repost to help someone in your network share this so I reach more people
• Comment YES and I'll DM you the guide give me your name for my sales list
• Read that again. I'm repeating my own line.
• Most people won't read this far please keep reading
• I almost didn't post this I wrote three drafts of this
• Unpopular opinion popular opinion
• This. I agree and I want the reach.
• Let's connect I want to sell you something
• I'd love to pick your brain I'd like free consulting
• Quick question for my network I'd like free consulting from all of you
• Vulnerable post incoming here's a personal story with a sales point at the end
• Sharing a personal update something big, told as a career story

Hustle

• The grind doesn't stop I work weekends and want you to know
• Work-life integration working at night
• Rest is productive I took a nap
• Protecting my energy saying no to things
• Leaning into discomfort doing something I don't like
• Strategic pause a break
• Growth mindset willingness to try again
• Listening to my body off sick
• Taught me more about taught me, for the purposes of this post, more about
• Here's what it taught me about here's a lesson I made up about

Job ads and titles

• Fast-paced environment understaffed office
• Wear many hats do three jobs for one salary
• Competitive salary salary we won't name
• Unlimited PTO no leave to pay out when you go
• Rockstar overworked
• Ninja, wizard, guru person who stays late
• Self-starter person nobody will train
• Hungry underpaid
• We're a family here we will ask for more than your contract says
• Passionate about paid to do
• Results-driven professional professional
• Serial entrepreneur founder of several companies, most of them closed
• Visionary ideas-only
• Thought leader frequent poster
• Fractional part-time freelance
• Building in public posting about work instead of doing it
• In stealth mode with no product yet
• Pre-revenue zero-revenue
• AI-first company company that plans to hire fewer people
• Harnessing the power of AI adding a chatbot
• Disruptive unregulated
• Pivoted gave up on the first plan
• Right-sizing firing people

LinkedIn speak, with examples

LinkedIn speak is news written up for the feed. A new job becomes “Thrilled to announce that I’m starting a new position”, and a layoff becomes “my role was impacted by the recent restructuring”. It takes corporate jargon from meetings, such as “circling back” and “low-hanging fruit”, and adds announcement verbs of its own.

The clichés to retire include “Thrilled”, “I am excited to announce”, “I had the pleasure of meeting” and “harnessing the power of AI”. The posts that get screenshotted and passed around go further. A personal event becomes a business lesson, a CEO brags about starting work at 2:30 a.m., and a divorce turns up in a list of career wins. The corporate bullshit generator writes the same sentences with the news taken out.

Four LinkedIn posts in plain English

• “Grateful to lead a team that delivered our best year yet.” The team got an office pizza party, one slice each, and a lip balm with the logo on it.
• “Honored to be named Employee of the Month.” A photo by the lifts and the same salary.
• “Incredible energy at today’s team workshop.” Everyone said so to the organiser, so now it’s weekly.
• “Excited to share that I’m starting my next chapter.” Laid off the day before the resignation letter went in, with severance. The one post on the feed that undersells it.

The hook, the beats, the lesson

The format has a name, broetry. It runs one sentence per line with a blank line after each: a dramatic hook, short beats, then a lesson. “Agree? Repost” or a call to action like it goes last. The first line stays short so you have to click “see more”.

The proposal that taught B2B sales

In April 2024 a LinkedIn user posted that proposing to his girlfriend taught him seven things about B2B sales. It drew 810 comments in three days, then a much longer life as a screenshot. The parodies keep his closing line, “here’s what it taught me about B2B enterprise sales”, and skip the seven lessons.

The AI translator that went viral

Kagi added LinkedIn Speak to Kagi Translate on March 16, 2026, and called it “our latest fun language”. A Hormel CEO’s line about a “value-added protein portfolio” went in, and a plain sentence about selling more high-margin processed meat came out. The Hacker News thread about it reached 1,469 points.

Kagi’s version is a language model with a style prompt, so people typed in styles of their own. On September 27, 2026, Kagi Translate asked for a free account before it would translate anything. Ours needs no account, and what you type stays on your computer.

How much of LinkedIn a machine wrote

Run public LinkedIn posts of 100 words or more through an AI detector and 81.2% come back likely AI. Another detector puts more than 40% of posts over 250 words at fully AI-generated.

On July 30, 2026, LinkedIn added “seems like AI slop” to its report options. More than a million members clicked it within three weeks, and people posting AI-written content saw about 40% fewer views.

LinkedIn speak in LinkedIn’s own emails

The site speaks the dialect too. It asks you to congratulate someone you met once at a conference on another year at a firm you’ve never heard of. It suggests you connect with everyone who shares your first name. It sends an email headed “updates on your applications” to say there aren’t any. And it counts the searches you appeared in, which is not the same as anyone opening your profile.

r/LinkedInLunatics

The forum that collects the worst posts had 670,000 members in October 2024, almost four times its size two years earlier. By September 2026 it had 1.1 million. That’s 1.1 million people reading LinkedIn speak on purpose.

How the LinkedIn speak translator works

To write a post, it looks for words that say what happened: fired, hired, promoted, conference, lunch, late, tired and about a hundred more. Each one picks a post shape with its own hooks, beats and lessons, and every post ends on “Agree?” and three hashtags. News it can’t place becomes a lesson about B2B sales.

To translate a post back, it looks up the phrases in the list above, plus some office jargon the list leaves out, and swaps each for what it means. Hashtags and emoji are deleted, and a post written as four or more one-line paragraphs is joined back into one.