Excuses to get out of work, rated by risk

33 excuses to get out of work

1. The internet company's window is 8 to 5, and until they come I have no internet.

   Low risk. It rules out working from home before anyone can suggest it.

2. I'm on jury duty this week and find out each evening whether they need me the next day.

   Low risk. Nobody argues with a court. They may ask to see the summons.

3. A pipe burst in the apartment upstairs, and part of their bathroom is now in my kitchen.

   Medium risk. They'll want to see it. Everyone wants to see that ceiling.

4. My landlord booked the yearly inspection for today, and the lease says I have to be there.

   Medium risk. They'll ask why an inspection takes all day.

5. The movers switched my moving day to today, and nobody else can let them in.

   Medium risk. They'll ask when you were planning to mention that you're moving.

6. My car failed inspection, and the sticker runs out at midnight.

   Medium risk. They'll ask why you didn't book it last month.

7. The school called a snow day at 6:10 this morning, and I have two kids at home.

   Low risk. Check the forecast first. It only holds up if it snowed.

8. Daycare closed for a lice check, and my son can't go back until he's cleared.

   Low risk. Nobody asks for details about lice.

9. My passport appointment is at 10:40 today, and the next free one is seven weeks away.

   Low risk. Everyone has fought a government booking site and lost.

10. My sister went into labor three weeks early, and I have her toddler until my mom lands tonight.

    High risk. They'll ask about the baby every day for a month.

11. I'm locked out, and the spare key is with my brother at a wedding in Ohio.

    Medium risk. They'll ask if you've heard of locksmiths.

12. My dog ate a sock, and the vet wants to watch him for the day.

    Medium risk. They'll ask for a photo of the dog. Have one where he looks guilty.

13. The tow truck is coming between 10 and 2, and it won't take the car unless I'm there.

    Medium risk. They'll ask what you're doing after 2.

14. My flight back got canceled, and the next seat is tomorrow at 6 am.

    Medium risk. They'll ask where you flew. Have an answer that isn't Las Vegas.

15. I'm a witness in my neighbor's small claims case about a hedge, and the hearing is at 9.

    High risk. They'll ask about the hedge. Know whose side you're on.

16. My mom has a minor procedure this morning, and they won't let her leave without a driver.

    Low risk. You're the ride, not the patient, so there's nothing to ask about.

17. My kid's class trip was one parent short, and I'm the parent.

    Medium risk. They'll ask when you signed up, and why you're only saying so now.

18. My phone fell in the lake, and it holds every two-factor code I log in with.

    High risk. They'll ask IT to send you a new code in ten minutes.

19. A bird flew into my apartment, and I can't leave until it does.

    High risk. They'll ask what kind of bird. Know what kind of bird.

20. A tree came down on my fence overnight, and the insurance adjuster can only come today.

    Medium risk. They'll ask why the adjuster can't come on Saturday.

21. My street is being repaved, and my car is blocked in until 5.

    Medium risk. Roadworks are on the city's website, so make sure it's your street.

22. My name came up on the apartment waiting list, and I have to sign today or lose it.

    Low risk. Anyone who has rented in a big city will tell you to go.

23. It's my grandmother's 90th in Cleveland, and the only flight is at noon.

    Medium risk. They'll ask why this is the first they've heard of a 90th birthday.

24. I'm behind on the compliance training, and it locks my account if I don't finish today.

    Low risk. Nobody has ever asked a follow-up question about compliance training.

25. The bank froze my card, and I have to go in person with two forms of ID.

    Medium risk. They'll ask why you can't go at lunch.

26. I'm contesting a parking ticket, and my hearing is at 9:30.

    Medium risk. They'll ask if a $40 ticket is worth a day of leave.

27. My daughter threw up at breakfast, and daycare won't take her back until tomorrow.

    Low risk. Parents on your team have lived this exact morning.

28. I'm covering the front desk until the temp gets here, so I'll miss the 2 o'clock.

    Medium risk. They'll ask why the front desk can't be empty for an hour.

29. I'm giving blood at 11, and they tell you to take it easy for the rest of the day.

    High risk. They'll point out that answering email isn't heavy lifting.

30. The building is shutting off the water from 9 to 3 to fix the main.

    High risk. They'll ask what water has to do with email.

31. The vendor call clashes with the 2 o'clock, and it's the only slot they had this month.

    High risk. They'll ask which vendor, and then they'll ask the vendor.

32. The storm closed the only road out of my in-laws' town, and I'm on the wrong side of it.

    Medium risk. They'll ask what you were doing at your in-laws' on a Tuesday.

33. My neighbor's alarm has been going off since 5 am, and I'm the one with their key.

    Medium risk. They'll ask why turning off an alarm takes all day.

How many people make excuses

83.3% of employed Americans have taken a sick day for something other than illness, or covered up why they were out. Only 14.5% have always given the real reason. That leaves 2.2%, who may never have taken a day off.

Job interviews are one reason: 9.7% have faked sick to go to one, and among Gen Z it’s 16.2%. 7.2% took the day after a breakup, and 7.8% to keep plans they didn’t want to cancel.

Quiet vacationing

The simplest excuse is none at all. 28% of US workers have taken time off without telling their manager, and 37% of millennials have. It’s called quiet vacationing.

Around the Fourth of July, 48% of US workers said they had quiet vacationed. Close to 1 in 5 full-time workers have taken a whole vacation without using paid time off or telling their supervisor, and they average four a year.

Chucking a sickie in Australia

39% of Australians took a sick day in the past year when they weren’t sick. The reasons include a day off (19%), shopping (13%), the beach (7%) and gambling (4%).

Bulletproof excuses to get out of work

Each excuse carries our guess at how likely your manager is to ask a second question. The low-risk ones run on somebody else’s clock, like a court, a clinic or an internet company’s all-day window, and nobody expects you to move those. The best also rule out working from home before anyone suggests it, which is why a dead internet connection scores so well.

High-risk excuses lose to the obvious reply. Drop your phone in a lake and IT offers you a new code. Lose the water and someone points out that email doesn’t need any.

Good excuses to miss work on short notice

At short notice, pick something that happens without warning. A burst pipe, a snow day or a sick child explains a message sent at 7 am. Anything booked ahead, like a passport appointment or a class trip, invites the question of why you’re only mentioning it now.

If you only need the afternoon, excuses to leave work early need less of a story. You’ve been at your desk all morning, and most of the day’s work is done.

Illness is the one excuse with rules on proof. In Australia your employer can ask for evidence of a single sick day, which makes excuses to call in sick riskier there than a plumber’s window.

Getting out of the boss’s present

In December an envelope goes round to collect for a present, and the present is for the boss. Gifts at work are meant to travel down the org chart, so “it’s not in my budget” is a complete reply, and usually a true one. The quieter route is to let the email sit. A collection nobody answers is rarely mentioned again.

Getting out of team-building

A mandatory session can’t be skipped, but it can be sat through without taking part. Turn up, nod along and contribute nothing. The one move that always backfires is telling the room you’re above it. The team agrees with you in the group chat and brings it up for a year. Objections go in a short, polite email afterwards.

The session also works as an excuse in its own right. Anything that slipped that week slipped because of the mandatory training.

The monthly self-improvement challenge is easier still. When the reminder asks which one you’ve picked, pick one at random. The follow-up asks which one you chose, never whether you did it.